Clark Gable Kent Banished to the Short Bus

Sunday afternoon Joe and I took Clark Gable Kent for a walk.
This is what CGK looks like when he knows he is going for a walk.

ClarkGableKent

“WALK! WALK! WALK! WALK!” —CGK

He is a handsome devil. Unfortunately, we recently learned CGK inherited a dose of my mental instability. The vet did not phrase it that way. Probably because the vet does not know I have mental instability. However, after two failed attempts to get our handsome pup to cooperate for his annual check up, the Doc declared Clark needs “remedial behavior training.”  It is not like Clark ate a vet tech or anything. He just does not want anyone messing with him. For the third attempt, CGK will be given doggy sedatives. Acepromazine. I wonder how that compares to Xanax.

Anywho, now I am searching for a trainer (or doggy psychiatrist) to teach Clark that it is okay to let people poke their fingers in his mouth and look at his teeth. I have a desperate e-mail in to Dogboy’s Dog Ranch.

I will keep ya’ll posted. And for the record, CGK is not a complete nincompoop. He can sit, shake, chill (lay down) and roll over. But apparently, those are unimpressive and will not keep him off the short bus.

Here is a picture of our older, less aggressive dog, Millie.
AKA Millie Mojesha Paranica
Mojesha is a character from The Powerpuff Girls and Piranica because she bit like a piranha when she was a pup.
(Blame my daughters for that diminutive.)

Millie

“Look at ME! Love ME!” —MMP

‘Grandma’ is a monicker Millie earned over the past couple of years.
See the gray?

Millie loves to go to the vet. She loves to have people poke around in her ears and pull her gums up to look at her teeth. She does not even mind having a stick put up her butt for a fecal sample. If you ask me, she REALLY has mental problems. Anyway, in ATX, Millie does not count as a REAL dog. That is because we purchased her from a breeder. If you want to be a respected dog owner in this town, you darn well better rescue your dog from a shelter. If you go prancing your $800 un-nuetered Entlebucher Mountain Dog around the trail at Lady Bird Lake, be prepared to get the ojo.
Just sayin.’
(You’re safe if you have a thoroughbred Greyhound. Everyone assumes you rescued it from a horrid life of running around in circles.)

And for fear of jealous retalation from el gato, here is a recent pic of Penelope.
AKA Stupid Cat, AKA Pennilicious

Penelope

“Oh, please. Stupid Humans.
And that Clark totally needs to be on the shortest of short buses.”

To prove Penelope is the spawn of Satan, here is another pic:

redchair

Yep. That is red duct tape ya’ll.
On a chair destroyed by Stupid Cat.
That is how we roll.

All those studies that prove owning a pet relieves stress…
yeah, those PhDs have not been to this house.

Because you all are so amazingly amazing, Here is a bonus!
This is a sweet toy we purchased for Clark.
(Discounted—because who buys a reindeer in January?
Cheap people who use duct tape, that’s who!)

TOYa

So cute right?!

Here is the same toy after Clark had it for 22.8 seconds:

toyB

How sad.
And hilarious.
I know you are laughing.

Stay warm ya’ll! A dog or cat could help you out with that!
Don’t you want an excuse to put colored duct tape on your furniture?!
Peace. See you soon!

Postscript: Shout out to my friend, Meg!
She is a REAL writer.
And wise beyond her years.
And super cute to boot.
Meg writes weekly for the Colorado State newspaper.
Click here to read an awesome article she wrote about human sex trafficking.

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About Kristie

My name is Kristie. I am a print designer struggling in a web world. Somewhere along the journey I discovered writing. Enjoy!
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5 Responses to Clark Gable Kent Banished to the Short Bus

  1. Jo Day says:

    I think all your problems would be solved if you adopted a certain diva chihuahua I know!

  2. Jo Day says:

    And….I don’t know what kind of clock Word Press is using, but I can assure you it is NOT 4 am!

  3. Kristie says:

    WordPress does not lie.

  4. Michelle says:

    I have similar issues, but they are caused by a big hulking teenager…

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